One of my favorite phrases in the movie "The Princess Bride" is "you miserable vomitous mass." The phrase comes to mind every time my children vomit on me as that is precisely what I feel like - a miserable vomitous mass. Until tonight, I would have said every time Ethan pukes on me as Alex had never puked on me. In fact, Alex had never puked at all until Saturday night. He does have acid reflux (though it's almost completely gone now) and has spit up throughout his short life (again, it's pretty infrequent these days) but he had never actually puked before.
Saturday we went to "Aunt Megan's house" (that's right folks, it's not Uncle Jeremy's or the kids's house - it apparently belongs to only Aunt Megan) to celebrate Makenzie's birthday (she's 2 today - Happy Birthday sunshine!). Alex has never met a food he didn't like and is especially fond of noodles. Jeremy made some really good spaghetti and Alex ate a very good sized plate full; however, he also thinks he should eat when anyone else is eating. Since Grandpa arrived right after we ate and then he & his gang proceeded to eat, I told them all not to feed Alex any more. I told them all he'd go to them and use those pleading eyes and beg but he had already eaten and didn't need anymore. Megan added that he'd puke if they caved to him and gave him more food. My thought here was, well he hasn't before; I was just thinking he really doesn't need any more to eat right now - he's had enough but as telling everyone he'd overeat & puke did get the point across, I left it alone. Somehow he still managed to get some more food cause I kept seeing him with more bread but didn't really worry about it.
A while later we did cake and ice cream and Alex actually turned away with only 2 bites left which is his way of saying he's done. However, he then went to his Daddy and proceeded to eat quite a bit more ice cream even though I told Steve he didn't need any more. After presents we let the kids play a little but as Alex (who typically gets at a minimum a 2 hour nap) had only about 45 minutes of nap on the way to Megan's, when he began staggering around like a little drunk boy because he was so tired, we packed up and headed home.
Alex usually sleeps really well in the car. He slept maybe 10 minutes of the first 90 minutes. About 30 minutes from home, he was done with the whole thing and fit to be tied. Alex is my cuddle bug though and likes to snuggle with Mama for a little bit each day (not Daddy mind you - it's called "Mama time"). We thought he wanted "Mama Time" so Steve stopped at a gas station and I, quite uncomfortably, got in the backseat between the boys so I could rub Alex's ear. He calmed down for a little while when he had his satiny blanket in one hand and my hand in his other to make sure I was still right there. However, this didn't last long and he kept getting fussy which really isn't like him.
Ten minutes from home - it all made sense. He looked at me and promptly puked all over himself (& a little on my jeans, too) and all over his carseat. Oh great - thanks for the foreshadow Megs. This was Alex's very first puking episode - EVER. What was his reaction? Well, since that had been his whole problem - Megan was right and he was too full - he smiled, laughed and yes, tried to play in the puke. Steve, who has a horrible gag reflex, promptly pulled into the McDonald's parking lot that was right beside us when he puked. With the dry heaves, Steve got out and got Ethan out because I didn't want to have to clean up multiple pukes and Ethan has a bad gag reflex, too (both he & Steve puke or at least gag when someone else pukes). I then peeled myself out of the backseat and went around to Alex's door to clean him up since the backseat was far too cramped to try to do that from the backseat. Steve was quite helpful in getting Ethan out of the way, getting me the wipes (we thankfully had an almost full pack in the car) and a bag from the trunk to put all the nasties into. I proceeded to clean Alex up enough to get him out of the car without getting it all over the place and then stripped Alex on the trunk (and a special thank you goes out to mother nature for making the temp around 45 that evening while I stripped my child rather than the 8 degrees it had been the previous week). Alex stripped, we put the extra shirt we had for him on and Steve wrapped him in a blanket and took he & Ethan inside while I continued to clean out the rest of the carseat so we could continue the remaining 5 miles to our house. The nice guy inside McDonald's gave Steve a plastic bag for Alex's clothes and gave both boys a happy meal toy (Alvin & Theodore so we now have the full set as we already had Simon).
Having cleaned the car as best I could and used the Walmart bag we had for all the garbage, we put Alex's clothes in the bag, put both boys in the car and ten minutes later arrived at home. Finally home, I took Alex immediately to the bathtub while Steve got Ethan ready for bed. Once both boys were in bed, I set about doing a job I thought I'd never have to do again after Ethan finally outgrew puking in the car - cleaning the car seat. Ethan puked in his car seat quite often - it was rather disgusting, but did teach us never to leave home without wipes and a spare outfit. Thankfully though, the cloth part of Alex's car seat is machine washable. By Sunday morning, it smelled much better and was fully dry.
Fast forward to today: Alex hadn't felt well today. He was whiney and just didn't seem like he felt good. No fever but he didn't want to eat which is VERY abnormal for him. I'm not sure if he's teething again, if it's his ears again or if it's something else. I was rocking him shortly before bedtime, giving him that "Mama-time" he wants while he drank his bottle. He had acted earlier like he was going to puke but then didn't. Halfway through his bottle, he pushed it away and wanted the paci. I complied and he sat there a second and then looked at me and ... yep....puked all over us both. To get the full picture, you should know he was straddling my lap, facing me as I sat in the recliner, rocking him. Steve was on the couch; Ethan was playing. In order to try not to get the recliner full engulfed in this, Steve had to step in and help get Alex off me. When Alex had almost puked earlier, I had gotten a towel to put on my chest as Ethan had frequently puked on me when he didn't feel well when he was little so I had been prepared. However, since it subsided, I had let the towel down and it was on the floor - poor timing on my part, but at least it was close enough to spare most of the chair. I got up, we stripped Alex & me & I cleaned out the chair. All the while, Ethan was noticing "pieces" of puke on the floor and dancing away from it saying "pook, Mama...it's pook....oooo...it's pook on da floor...get it." Having cleaned all this up, I took both boys upstairs because it was bedtime and Alex & I both needed a bath. Ethan wanted to join us so we all 3 took a bath and I must say, Alex & I smell MUCH better now. Ethan didn't really stink so he's just cleaner now :)
So now, both boys are asleep. Alex feels better. I'm not entirely sure what made him puke this time as it definitely wasn't overeating. But he has a follow-up from his last ear infection tomorrow so I guess we'll find out then what the problem is - teething, his ears or some new ailment. I'm just thankful that while Steve gagged pretty hard, he didn't actually puke on me as he helped me clean up the munchkin.
No wonder Alex didn't want Steve tonight and kept coming back to me. He wanted to feel better by puking on Mama. Oh the joys of being a Mom.
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