A Sense of Belonging

I have never been one to openly discuss religion and for most of my life, I was almost insulted when others would "preach" to me.  Insulted isn't really the right word - I was just put off by it.  I'd never been to any church, whether it be Catholic (the religion in which I was raised) or any other denomination that I had attended, where I didn't feel like an outsider.  I believed in God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Bible as the word of God, etc; I prayed; but I never got anything out of going to church.  I never felt uplifted; never really felt like I learned anything.  I was just there because someone told me to go or someone I wanted to make happy wanted me to go.

Then I met Steve who had always gone to church & who was usually involved in whatever church he attended and for whom continuing to go to church  "belong" to a church was very important.  He, however, was Baptist and all I knew about Baptist churches was that those I had attended didn't really pull me in either.  What Steve knew about Catholic churches (which really wasn't much) didn't appeal to him either.  Now there's a dilemna because for once I actually wanted to go to a church & feel like I belonged there - to feel anything other than bored during a church service & not just because it was important to Steve.  I was at a place in my life where it was important to me - possibly from the influence of Steve & his friends & family & how at peace they seemed with their lives & how clearly that was impacted by their religion & fellowship.  Regardless of what impacted me that way, I was at this place now what were we going to do?  I didn't want to attend a Baptist church & Steve didn't want a Catholic church but we wanted one church to attend as a family - not one church for each of us.  So what did we have in common besides this desire to find a church to belong to - an overall Christian set of beliefs.

We tried one non-denominational Christian church in Lexington & the opening worship music was more uplifting than some I'd heard.  However, I didn't get an overall positive vibe from the church.  Then during the Christmas (or maybe Easter? - a major religious holiday anyway) service at this church, rather than talking about Jesus our savior's birth (or death if it was Easter), the minister spouted on about the politics of the war & the soldiers fighting (& no this wasn't just suggesting we pray for the soldiers - that part almost seemed like an after thought).  This was a major turn off to me - political discussion was not going to make me feel uplifted.  Steve was done with that church, too, for the same reason.  The minister can talk all he wants about politics & war but not as his sermon - the sermon should be about the Bible - the word of God, etc. 

Still, I wasn't done - this was only one church - surely they weren't all like this - surely I could find peace & spiritual uplifting somewhere in Lexington.  We then ventured to Tates Creek Christian Church.  The opening music pulled me in right away - no stuffy hymns - this was upbeat music that not only sounded great but which had lyrics that actually spoke to me.  Not only did I sing the songs but I listened to them & understood.  I should also backtrack & tell you that we sat in the back & as usual, I tried to hid so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone - no such luck.  The senior minister, Tommy Simpson noticed us & introduced himself & welcomed us at that very first meeting (as did a few others).  Then the singing - then Tommy did his sermon.  It was the first time I had EVER listened to an entire sermon without daydreaming (which could explain why I'd never learned anything before) & actually understood it & felt energized when we left church that day.  That was almost 6 years ago & since that time, I've been baptized in the church & Steve transferred his membership, had Ethan & Alex "dedicated" in this church & will be doing the same with Cameron.  We've also started regularly attending a Sunday school class for which I read & study the Bible passages so that I can participate in class.  We attend church "Oasis" classes on Wednesday nights when offered & I don't feel it's an obligation - I actually look forward to going to church in the middle of the week.  I dreaded church growing up & was afraid even when we were looking for a church that we'd find one but have to struggle to get the boys up to go.  Not the case - the boys would go to church daily if we'd let them - they love it, too. 

I've even become involved in other aspects of our church.  Last year I helped in Ethan's class during the church service one month out of three & in his Oasis classes when needed as well (which was choir for him).  This year I'm teaching Alex's class during the early service every other month meaning I willingly get out of bed even earlier on Sunday mornings and teach for 90 minutes, attend Sunday school for an hour and then attend church service for 90 minutes at the 2nd service.  I'm also now on the preschool ministry team to help organize & structure the preschool groups for the church.  I'm looking forward to attending family functions with the elementary & preschool groups as well as our own Sunday school classes & looking forward to starting our next Oasis class in a week or so. 

I've been trying to write this blog for about 6 months now but something kept stopping me.  Then I realized it was because everytime I started writing, I sounded like I was trying to justify why I joined this church & that's not really my point.  My point isn't why did I join - it's why was I looking.  I was looking because something in my life was missing.  I was missing that inner peace you find when you finally belong to something.  I finally have that.  I have a husband who loves me & three wonderful & rambunctious boys that we love immensely & who love us - I belong to this family and I belong to the Tates Creek Christian Church family.  The sense of belonging I was missing - I've finally found. 

A couple of final points:
1)  Don't call on Wednesday nights between 6:00 & 8:00 or on Sundays until after 12:30 - we'll be in church so if you do call, we'll call back later. 
2)  If anyone wants to join us for church anytime, just give us a call.  You're more than welcome!

Lullabies

I have always made up little twists on standard lullabies to sing to the boys.  Most involve adding their names in and some have completely fabricated lyrics of my own with just the tune of the original lullaby as I am not nearly crafty enough to create the melody as well.  Both boys like it and have their own favorites. 

With Cameron's birth only a couple of weeks away, the boys are more and more anxious (ok, we all are but they are more vocal) to meet him.  They slept with me the past 2 nights - Friday's excuse was they "missed me" to the point of extreme whining & I was too tired to continue refusing.  They both took turns putting their hands on Cameron - as Alex says "me put my hand Camwin?" ... impossible to resist...followed by "Camwin kick MY hand!" with excitement.  Ethan then wanted to do the same thing and looked like he wanted to say something - I told him it was ok to talk to Cameron.  He started telling Cameron how he was the big brother & Alex was the middle brother and they wanted to see him "on June 7, right Mama?" and then looked at me and asked if we could sing Cameron a lullaby.  I agreed and asked what he wanted to sing.  Ethan didn't know so I asked Alex and he wanted "his song" which means he wanted the one I make up the words to the tune of "Are you sleeping"...Cameron's version now goes like this:

Cameron James
Cameron James

Our baby
Our baby

Mama loves you so much
Daddy loves you so much

Ethan, too.
Alex, too.

We then sang "You are OUR sunshine" and then Ethan remembered he wanted to sing "Hush little baby"....so after those 3 songs, it was time to sleep. 

Last night right at bedtime, there was a thunderstorm - Alex is terrified of thunder.  They slept with me again - Alex would crawl into my skin if he could.  Every crack of thunder had Ethan asking again if Mickey was still bowling or maybe Grandma Recktenwald was bowling now.  While that doesn't make Alex any less afraid of the thunder, it at least distracts him for a minute. 

When the thunder died down, Ethan wanted to sign more lullabies to Cameron.  This time we started with "Hush little baby" and then Alex started singing "Cameron James" - really sweet.  Time for sleep.

Tonight the boys were playing upstairs and all the sudden I heard them singing all by themselves and it went something like this:

Cameron James
Cameron James

Mama's ba-by boy
Daddy's ba-by boy

Mama & Daddy loves you
And Ethan does, too
And don't forget, and Alex does, too

While it's not totally in the melody of the song, it was one of the cutest things I've ever heard.