Cameron goes to bed right around 8:00 - that's his choice. When he goes to bed, he wants something to drink though he'll go without it & he wants his paci - which he will not go without. He won't say "hey Mama, I'm ready for bed" - that would be too easy. He instead says "Mama, Mama, Mama" until I finally answer & then nothing - he bascially wants me to look at him when I can see how tired he is I'll ask if he wants to go to bed & he'll nod. That's the extent of the "speaking" part of his half of the conversation - grunting & "Mama" - not because he can't talk - because he won't talk. I'll work on that one right after I fix this paci issue as that was the bane of my existence today.
With Ethan there wasn't anything in particular that he HAD to have so we didn't know better when we introduced this blankie to Alex and thought it was so cute how much he liked it. It wasn't until later when we realized that this particular blanket is a specialty item (given as a gift by my boss when I had Ethan & Ethan gave it to Alex as he never was into any ONE thing) that it could be a problem & was when we couldn't find it or as mentioned before, forgot to take it somewhere with us. This brings us back to Cameron. We knew better with Cameron - we have no excuses. Hey - we didn't get him a one of a kind blankie or stuffed animal. We got him a paci - we made sure we had more than one at all times. We can't go wrong, right? WRONG....we've been to the store late at night on more than one occasion to buy a new set of pacis when they vanish into thin air. Now, however, he's 19 months old (almost 20) - we're not buying more pacis. He needs to give them up. If you've seen him lately, you know that's not really happening. I decided today it needed to.
I didn't just "decide" really - I was driven to this great idea by the fact that from the moment I got home from work tonight I didn't see a paci anywhere. Steve was fixing dinner - he'd be leaving for work right after we ate then it would be homework time & a little play before bed. I wasn't the one home today but would be the one putting him to bed so I usually make sure I know where a paci is before Steve is gone. Did I mention it's Monday & most everything about my day screamed "MONDAY" so why would this be any different? I forgot to ask Steve about the paci.
So I'm doing homework with Ethan when the grunting "Mama" conversation starts. It was early tonight - started around 7 but he's been eating a lot & sleeping a lot the past few days so I didn't think that odd - growth spurt time I guess. I kept telling him to go upstairs & play with Alex while we finished homework. Finally I gave up & told Ethan to go ahead & put him in his crib. He was essentially begging us to do it. Ethan came back downstairs - finished the last little bit of homework through Cameron's wailing & I told him, "ok, time to find the paci." Ethan went up to look for it & called back down, "Mama, he just wants you." I was in the kitchen checking counters, floor, fridge, etc & yelled back that he didn't really want me, he just wanted the paci. We traded places - Ethan went downstairs to check the toy bin, pack-n-play, etc while I went to Cameron. Alex is now in the game looking through the mess we call "Ethan's room" where they'd been playing. Cameron whiningly says "Mama" - I give him his sippy cup - he chills out, drinks a little then starts the "Mama" wail again. I said, "I know, honey, I'm looking for it. Do you know where your paci is?" He shook his head yes. I let him out & he went to Ethan's room & then Alex's & started to go downstairs. At this point Ethan & I have both checked all areas of the 1st floor - I vetoed his decision to go downstairs - it wasn't down there.
I told Ethan to get his library book & we read instead. Cameron calmly drank his milk while I read the bedtime story to them & then we said prayers. When we finished, I sent Ethan & Alex out of the room & told Cameron that we couldn't find a paci but it was bedtime. He snuggled into my shoulder and then pulled back. I said, "I think it's time we give up the paci anyway. Right?" He shook his head yes in agreement. "You can do it, right? You don't need that silly paci." He smiled & again shook his head - apparently that was a shaking of his head as if to say "yes, I do need it" because he started wailing again as soon as I put him in the crib. Ethan & Alex then got to help me straighten most of Ethan's room & then again I moved the crib away from the wall to check behind & under it. This was after I called Steve & he assured me Cameron had a paci at naptime & then didn't bring it out of the crib after nap so it "must" be there. It wasn't but I did find one of the pacis we had before the last late night trip to RiteAid for new ones. The problem is - with that trip to RiteAid, we had to switch to latex instead of rubber pacis because they didn't have the rubber ones & now he doesn't like the rubber ones anymore...the old one was rubber. I happily told him I found it - the wailing ceased instantly & I went to wash it. I brought it back & gave it to him & he looked at it like I was giving him a completely foreign object & handed it right back to me. I gave it back & said, "it's just the old one sweety. Go ahead, it really is a paci." He again handed it right back though this time he did get it closer to his mouth first. So I took him & the paci out of the crib & sat with him - he again gave me the paci. So I sucked on it for a few minutes to prove it really was a paci then tried again to give it to him. Nope - he wouldn't take it. I told him it was all we had & he'd have to take it & put him in the crib & walked away....
Instant wailing again - wailing in itself I could stand but the fact that he was wailing "Mama" as if to say - "how could you do this to me, you are the only one who can help me, please Mama, please help me" - that is a bit beyond what I can stand for a Monday night. I went back to Ethan's room which is still utter chaos & again got the boys out of bed to help me look....finally, I found another old paci - this one oddly is latex that he refused earlier in the paci progression at about 6 months old so we had to find more rubber ones. He decided though later that latex were ok & started using that one again about 4 months ago so we now have 3 "good" pacis - the 2 we bought last & this old one. You have absolutely no idea how happy I was to find this paci which, by the way, we hadn't seen in a week. I washed it, took it to a wailing Cameron who happily took it, ceased all noises, laid down contentedly & went to sleep in roughly 4 minutes.
From start of the "find the paci" game to the end was roughly an hour and 15 minutes. I still did not find either of the newest 2 pacis that we have & which he had this morning when I left for work. Tomorrow either before I get home from work or when I get home from work, Ethan's entire room will be cleaned & I'm fairly certain there will be at least 2 pacis found in the clutter. Also, Cameron is now allowed to have a paci at naptime & bedtime & no other time....in a couple of weeks, those will be gone as well. I can't handle another hour+ search for a paci. My meds just aren't strong enough to sustain that :)
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