What My Daddy Taught Me

Today was a really wonderful day.  The sky was beautiful, moods were mostly upbeat and, best of all, it was my Daddy's 65th birthday.  I really couldn't ask for a better dad so I thought I'd take a few minutes to note some of the things I've learned from him:

1. Everyone deserves a second chance and some deserve a third or fourth.  I won't name names but I can think of several examples where he's been burned by an event or a person and he's still been right there to help them or try it again time and time again.  There are other times when people have just needed a second chance at their lives, to start over, to get on their feet.  He's offered his home to several over the years - some stayed a short time others stayed longer.  They just needed a second chance - he's been there; he understands.  He wants them to know they are worth it & life is worth it.  I think at least one of them (maybe more) got a third or fourth chance to start over - a spot on the couch or spare bedroom more than once to just get it together.  
2. Every problem has a solution.  If you think about it long enough, ask for help when you need it; you'll figure it out.  The solution may not be what you had hoped but the problem will be solved none the less.  He had a car that got him from A to B most of the time but if he needed to go someplace farther than B, like from A to M; he borrowed a car.  The solution?  Car accident caused totaled car = new car that will easily go from A to M or even Z if needed.  Maybe not the solution you hoped for (who wants a new car that way?) but the car problem is solved after all.  
3. Life will pass you by if you don't stop to enjoy it a little bit.  Busy weekend, flying by?  Let's go for a hike where we can just talk - no tv, no music, just us, the mountain, the trees & maybe some singing.  This one also taught me to love nature and to long for the mountains in the fall when the leaves are all different colors.  God's beauty is everywhere in those mountains - I had a chance to see that when growing up and going on those hikes but didn't really appreciate it until I grew up and moved away.  
4. It might be easier to assemble or repair something by reading the directions but it's much more interesting (& time consuming) if you just wing it.  You may have spare parts when you are finished, but if it still works, you didn't need them anyway.  I can't think of anything specific for this one but I also can't think of anyone that knows my dad that wouldn't agree with this statement.  Who has time for directions - that takes all the fun & guess work out of it.  This could actually be my fault though.  He tells me that when I was 5ish, all I wanted for Christmas was a book of instructions.  When he asked "instructions for what," I told him "everything."  Apparently I did get a book (or box) full of instructions that year for Christmas so maybe he never uses instruction manuals because he gave them all to me?  Possible only if that book (or box) got more full the past 30+ years each time he got something else with instructions and I'm pretty sure that didn't happen.
5. People make life interesting - not just places or events you've been to - but the people you've done them with.  Boring things are made more interesting by the people.  We had many 2+ hour car rides growing up; he always lived about 2 hours away so he could come get us on the weekends.  Portable DVD players didn't exist; CD's didn't exist (in the beginning); cell phones didn't really exist & those that did came in a bag & didn't work in the mountains & were for emergencies only.  So what do you do when the radio station goes out?  You play Dan Fogleberg....ummmm, no thank you.  Oh, that's right, you talk to yourself in the rearview mirror with yourself pretending to be the character of your dog, Ernest Timothy Rathbone, who speaks with a British accent despite the fact that he lives in Eastern KY.  Yep - that keeps your children occupied for long periods of time in the car.  
6. Parents are supposed to embarrass their children & usually they don't even have to try.  It's the 80s and he's still a hippie; it's the 90s and he's still a hippie.  The sad part is, I should have been embarrassed by this but wasn't.  Most people seemed to grow out of that at some point but here it is 2013, he's 65 years old and he has still not grown out of it.  It's just a little quirk of his that I love too much to be embarrassed by it.  
7. Be true to who you are, not who others think you are or want you to be.  See #6 above re: Hippie.  If he grew out of it, he wouldn't really be him anymore.  I was a shy kid and not always the happiest - he'd take me on a hike just me and make sure I knew how wonderful I was.  "You know you're pretty wonderful [or great] just the way you are."  
8. If someone needs a hand, give it to them.  If they've done something great, clap for them.  If they have fallen down, help them up.  If they need to move, help them.  If you have plans, but they broke down - help them.  I remember my dad & I were driving to Louisville when I was in college I think, to visit my grandmother.  We passed a car that had on flashers on I-64.  My dad is not a small man and I think we're driving his Toyota Tercel hatchback.  The car was driven by a black lady who had at least 3 family members with her.  They were on their way to Louisville as well, car was dead.  I think my dad may have loaned them his phone to call her son (who they were going to see).  He had me get out with him to check on them so they wouldn't be freaked out by this large white guy coming towards them (did I mention it's late at night & dark as pitch except for a couple of street lights).  The verdict was that the son could come get them but they'd be sitting there for at least another hour.  We're going that way anyway - let's shove every piece of luggage we can into the trunk and we'll take you to Louisville and you can come tomorrow to get the car in daylight.  Her 3 passengers in the back seat, she & I in the front passenger seat & my dad driving.  We probably left a note on the car about coming in the morning to pick it up.  I think they really couldn't believe that he offered to do this but he kept assuring them that I was proof he wasn't a serial killer or something I think.  We took them to her son's house which I'm pretty sure was in a part of Louisville we shouldn't have been to after dark, dropped them off & went to Grandma's.  They needed a hand - we gave them one.  
9. Post emergency phone numbers by every phone and make sure you have a working phone before starting something stupid dangerous.  One of the houses my dad lived in was directly beside my aunt and uncle's house separated by their driveway.  Someone had a new (to them) tractor or something that was rusted (or something) and needed to be cleaned - I'm not sure which of them it was.  My dad and uncle decided to clean it with gasoline - apparently whatever the issue is could be cleaned with gasoline (it was a long time ago, I can't remember exactly).  This can't end well, right?  So before they started, they moved the thing out of the driveway, right, so it wouldn't be between the two houses?  Nah - we got this.  I don't remember much about this (& I'm not even sure I was there, I may have just heard about the event) but something happened and then all of a sudden my dad is running around like a chicken with his head cut off yelling to every person he can find "QUICK!  WHAT'S THE NUMBER TO 9-1-1?"  Ummmm, 9-1-1?  I think it actually was but it hadn't been for long - this was basically the boonies so fire, ambulance & police had individual numbers.  He wanted to call the actual fire department because the tractor (or maybe it was a lawnmower?) was on fire right between the houses.  While he was running around trying to find the number & call, I think my uncle got the fire out but I'd just about bet if you go to my dad's house, you'll find emergency numbers by most phones and some other prominent locations.

So this may not be a complete list (definitely isn't - he taught me to change a tire & change the oil & build stuff & & &), it's some key points, some funny points, some serious points and above all some great reasons why I love my dad so much.  He is a truly amazing man with many friends and family that love him dearly for so many reasons.  I, at least, can freely say that I am a better person for having him in my life.